Monday, April 20, 2015

Pre-Birthday Musings

It's about a month before my next birthday.  The big 53.

53.

When I was younger, I never thought about being 53.  Which means anything is possible, right?

Iris Arpel
I find myself thinking a bit about time.  What time is left and how I'd like to spend it.  How I'd like to feel as fabulous as Ms. Arpel appears to.

Maybe clothes is the place to start.  To be fearless with my wardrobe and see what happens.  Easier said than done, here in the conservative Midwest.  But maybe that's part of the problem - worrying about what others think.

From the blog Advanced Style
And then I remember that poem, "When I am an Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple" and think, why not?

Except, I don't think of myself as old.  

More from Advanced Style.  Can you imagine how much fun this would be, so get all dressed up like this and go on parade?
I have too many plans, too much left to do.  Which reminds me that I have to get busy on that stuff that I don't want to leave undone.

Before my husband died (at 50), we talked about the things he regretted doing.  I regretted not finishing school.  Well, I'm close to that now.  And I'm not sure where it will lead.  I do remember that my main goal in going back to school was to learn to write better.  One of my PhD committee members, a man I consider my mentor, commented in his last review that I'm an accomplished academic writer.  (I do love my theory.)  But he hoped that I hadn't forgotten how to write for fun.

Yikes.

I think that's part of why I love blogging.  I can break those damn writing rules.

So, writing for fun = something I don't want to leave undone. Travel is another.  I do love a good road trip.  J and I have declared this summer our Michigan bucket list summer.  Mackinaw Island, Up North, petoskey stones, fudge.  And art.  Always art. Making art, living art, teaching art.

You know what shuts down the plans?

My fear of ending up old and homeless.  Sigh.  Fricking money.

Gotta work on this.


2 comments:

  1. My husband says it always comes down to money. I hate to admit he is right. What lives would we be living if lack of money wasn't holding us back? The Michigan bucket list sounds like a great road trip. After three of the past four summer vacations being spent in Michigan, it looks like we are not going to make it this year. I will miss collecting all those rocks. Looking forward to seeing you write in an unstructured fun way about your road adventures this summer :-)

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  2. The ever increasing harshness of the world makes me think more about money as well. I find some solace in the fact that my material needs are minimal. I don't need an expensive car or house. Although I have times where I am frightened of being old and homeless, I am more worried for my son. I'm not sure there are as many opportunities for him as there were for me.

    How wonderful to be called an accomplished academic writer. High praise from someone on your committee! Between your interesting ideas and your gift for written expression I hope you make a lot of time for "fun" writing.

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